Separation
by Voldemort Perfumes
Summary: A one-shot based on an extremely trite and overused idea: How Edward felt and why he left Bella in New Moon. The only case I can make for it is that it's not just about he feels, but the family too. Reviews would be delicious.


_Separation is a hard thing to go through. It haunts us, defiles us, but we often have our reasons. _

-x-x-x-

Edward Cullen had a plausible excuse for leaving Bella in the forest as he did. He knew, in his mind of minds that he ought to give her a chance at a normal life. She was a human, him a mythical monster that logically, shouldn't even exist. Edward Cullen was a vampire, try as he might to forget that for his sake and for hers. His sister especially preferred to cling to her old human life, even though this self-deluding was only to lead to hurt as she continued with it.

His brother. His brother was a part of the reason Edward was leaving her, the catalyst to an already strained situation.

You see, Edward had made mistakes in his long life, and one of them was allowing Bella to come to harm. A few months ago, a vampire had threatened to take Bella's life, her blood. This vampire was not like Edward and his family, this one, James, was altogether another species of bloodsucker. He fed on humans without a hint of mercy to excuse him, and enjoyed bringing misery to others, indulging in that old, dark art of schadenfreude.

In Phoenix, Bella's old home, she had been tricked and beguiled by James, trapped into coming to him without any protection. Like an innocent lamb off to slaughter. Edward had learned of it nearly too late, learned of it from his sister, the one who accepted this life (she hadn't known any other anyway), dry-sobbing into the phone. She said the words that he had never wanted to hear.

At first he had thought she was about to deliver another sort of news entirely. Edward had jumped to conclusions, thinking his rather unrestrained brother had committed a fatal error, had accidentally made a pass at Bella's blood. It was the first thought that came to mind, but Edward was to be proven wrong.

"She's gone," Alice had told him. "She left a letter. James has her mother, and she's gone to save her."

The news had left him hollow yet determined. He would not allow himself to break down until there were no more viable options, until he was certain that no life still remained in his lover's body. He ran and ran, a motivated shell of a being, until he came face to face with James in the ballet studio. Then anger was the main theme, they fought, his family caught up, and they intervened.

He was almost too late, as it happened. James had bitten Bella, and the only option left was to suck the venom from the wound, an impossible task to him at that time. Somehow though, he'd found some inner strength he never knew he had, and he'd saved her.

For months it had gone well, 'till September 13th, Bella's birthday. The day had started off with jesting, trying to convince Bella that aging wasn't the end of the world. Trying to persuade her to be cheery and accept the gifts he and his family had gotten her.

Alice had gone predictably overboard with the décor of the party, the gifts were all prettily wrapped; a beautiful scene for the disaster that would later occur. Bella, being Bella, accidentally cut herself opening one of the packages. The scent of blood had driven them all wild, but his brother couldn't help it. Jasper had gone into predatorial mode, and tried to get to Bella. Edward had saved her once more, but the incident had brought to light a reason for separation. It didn't take him long to make the fateful decision to leave.

He urged the family to go on ahead, as he needed more time to say goodbye himself. Bella wondered where they were, as she cared for them too. He lied, to buy time, and later he lured her with him out into the forest to do the pitiful deed.

He lied again, what a track record he rung up that day, and told her he didn't love her. Whatever would work so that he could leave her in peace. She cried, and it hurt him deeply, but whatever…he had his reasons, didn't he?

It was all he could do to run away, like the coward he knew he was. He ran on to meet his family, who had come back to receive him before they moved on to the new place, a new life. His parents understood, they always did for some reason. Maybe it was because they love him…Edward would never know. His sister, Alice looked ashamed, sad. He knew how much she'd liked Bella, wanted to befriend her. Her misery made him feel selfish, and so he looked away to spare himself.

His other sister merely looked bored, and perhaps a wee bit triumphant. She had never condoned his love with Bella, and he feared she never would. It's just her opinion, he told himself, but still he couldn't accept it. His brother, her husband was a little downcast, missing "the kid" already, in his own words.

But perhaps the worst of all was his brother. Edward couldn't look Jasper in the eye, but he could feel the guilt pouring out from his brother's very soul. He wanted to say he forgave him, but Edward just couldn't form the words. In a perverse way, he was glad for his brother's weakness, it gave him the excuse to leave, to let Bella alone like he should have in the beginning. He knew he shouldn't be glad, but he was.

It hurt his brother when he felt the gladness and put two and two together, but Jasper wouldn't say anything. He felt he'd done enough to screw everything up.

Seconds later, Carlisle stepped over to his son, and said the parting words.

"Come on Edward…"

"It's time to _go_."


End file.
